(You hate) Everything about me. (Finished)

I was talking to Bridgett, one of the girls that I most talk to in this place. I knew she had the rumors that I needed to hear. But than I heard Benjamin's voice calling me.
-And you're giving me away just like that? - I joked with him, but his face was completely serious, like always in this place. His kiss was different than the others, but is Benjamin, you don't know what to expect of him at this time of hour.

I walked to the room he had order me to go, which was normally far from the other rooms in the brothel, since it was for private shows. I entered to the black room, and of course I was expecting some kind of old creppy man, with the face of a miserable person, but the room was empty.

She entered the room, I took a band and I bandaged her eyes, then I surrounded her waist with my arms, my heart was beating faster than ever.

- Don't be afraid -I whispered, if I talk louder, she would recognize my voice.

I stood in front of her, I took with my hands, her face. I got closer to her lips, and I kissed them slowly.

- Don't worry... -I kissed her again- I know you. I'm not a simple customer.

I kissed her lips again, this time it was a slow and deep kiss. I stroked her hair, I kissed her forehead, "I love you" I whispered, "I really love you". She tried to hit me, but I stopped her.

- Please... -I whispered meanwhile I hugged her- Get carried away. -I smiled- I like your kisses.

I felt some soft hands covering my eyes with a blindfold. I got scared, this was something new. I tried to take it out, but he forced me to keep my hands calm.
What did Benjamin put me into? I was really going to kill this guy.

I heard him whispered in my ear, but I couldn't recognized his voice. I felt his lips kissing mine, and in that second I remembered my only one rule. I didn't dare to move my lips, so I just stood there.

Not a simple costumer? Who in the world was him? I didn't had any admirer that I know of. When he softly whispered in my ear that he love me, for a second I was in shock. I tried to hit him, or do something to defend myself, but he stopped every movement that I made.
He kissed my lips over and over again, and I couldn't do anything to fight.
My stomach felt weird the moment his lips touched mine, and a tear scaped from my eye. When finally I stopped trying and I let him be. His soft lips somehow felt good kissing mine, so I broke my precious rule, and my lips started moving freely and the same pace as his.

The moment he told me to forget what he had done, I knew who he was. When he laid me down in the bed, I took the blindfold off, slowly. I saw the same face I saw twice that day, and now it was the third time. My stomach felt weird again.
-Why are you here?- I asked, I was so confused. He'd killed my husband, and he was involved in every problem you could name. I hated him so much, just for who he was.
His lips touched mine every second, and the truth is, I didn't want him to stop kissing me.
I saw tears running down his face, was he crying? Everyday I saw men cry, and it was pathetic really, it was always the same reason, money. But this time was different, I felt sadness and pity, what made me hugged him with all my strength. I said nothing... I couldn't.

- I'm here because I love you -I confessed- I killed your husband... because he killed my best friend. I loved her in a special way, because she was like my sister.

I simply couldn't stop crying, I was a little boy, I never thought someday I would have to live with the pain.

- And I'm sorry but I can't take this no more -I whispered- Everyday I think of her, I couldn't save her, I felt guilty.

I tried to explain, but I was so tired. Sarah was trapped in my mind, her green eyes, her voice... everything.

- Sarah was my best friend -I started again- because she was the only who really wanted me.

"Nobody dares to know me, I'm not a monster." I thought. I looked at Neus, I was completely broken.

- She felt in love with Jesus. -I whispered- At the beginning, everything was alright, but then Jesus started being cold.

Do you know how many times Sarah cry for him? I didn't know what to do, and when this happened, I swore that someday I would kill Jesus.

- One day, he arrived drank. -I finally said- He shot us. Sarah died but I'm still here, and sometimes I wish I was dead -I confessed- Since that day, I don't care about anything, I hate life itself... but you're the only one who makes me feel alive again.

In a wierd way I knew how he felt, because that was the same way I felt about Jesus.
I didn't bother to ask about Jesus past when I was with him, I guess I wasn't interesting in it. But I guess you need to know someone's past if you planned spending the rest of your days with him. It was my lesson to learn. That made me think about Benjamin, what about Benjamin's past? I wasn't with him oficially, but we had something, and I didn't know anything, not a single thing about him. I guess I knew everyone had a dark past in some point in their life, and I didn't want to be the one to revive that moment.

I felt sorry for Bruno, he had lost a beloved. Was he the way he is because of that? Or was it something else? My plan of making him suffer was now over. In a bizzarre way, I wanted to know more about him.
-I'm... I'm sorry for your lost- Was the only thing that came out of my mouth at the end of his story. -I guess, I didn't know much about Jesus- I try to explain myself. -But revenge is not something you should considered as a solution- I kept quite, and thought about the acts I was about to commit in the near future. My plan to make him suffer was a revenge to Jesus's death. -I just learned that.- I finished, making my solution.

I had to do my job here, I was actually getting pay for sleeping with this guy. But did I want this? Why did I felt that with him everything was different. I didn't felt the same way I felt with my regular costumes.

Love was a big word, I honestly didn't believe him.
-Why are you saying that you love me, when we hardly know each other?- I asked him, trying to figured the answer out. Nobody ever said to me that they loved me, no even Jesus. Why would I believe him?

His lips didn't stop by any second kissing mine, and honestly I liked it.
I didn't understand any word he was saying, I was confused by his meaning of love. Was it love at first sight? I thought.
I got out of bed, and standed next to it. -I'm sorry but I can't do this- I didn't want to do it, not like this. He was in love with me, why would he pay to just sleep with me? -My services will not be available to you, I'm sorry- I repeated, and I walked to the door.

It's okay -I whispered- Goodbye.

I gave her the money. I didn't want to say anything, I walked toward the entrance, "Don't look back" I repeated in my mind. Benjamín stared at me, I just smiled and then I nodded.

I went to the cementery, I didn't want to come back home, "I hope she realizes that I put my numer in between the dollars" I thought. I looked at the moon, I was crying again, but I didn't know why.

- Hey -I started in front of Sarah's grave- What's going on?

I spoke a lot, looking at the dark blue sky, thinking about Neus and her frequent customers stroking her body, I got jealous but I couldn't do anything.

I just standed at the end of the hallway, looking at Bruno's back, with the money he had gave in my right hand. I didn't want the money, I didn't want to touch it, my hand felt weak and I could see the money falling to the ground. Than, I realized a small white paper between them, folded in half. I picked up the paper and the money, with little interest. The white paper had his name and a number, which I supposed it was his. I smiled.
I walked to Benjamin, and gave him the money. -I don't want it, we didn't do anything- I explained, and put the money in the nearest table. I went back where I was before Bruno's visit, but Bridgette wasn't there anymore, and I grinned. She'd always had many costumers waiting for her, there was no man who didn't know about Bridgette. She was a bitch sometimes, but she was still a good hearted person. I leaned on the wall, with my arms crossed, and started to think about Bruno. I'v never been more curious for anyone to meet before. I wanted to know everything about him, but know it was because in some kind of way, I liked that guy.